The Pet Section

Pippi Lumpkin aka Lumpy Pipkin, Cysty Lumpkin, Cysted Sister, Pippi-Meister / Meister-Pippi

Barney and Pippi got fat in 2005. Pippi put on two pounds and that couldn’t be entirely attributable to the cyst she has growing on her chest. So the vet prescribed the “pumpkin diet.” It consisted of replacing half of their food with pumpkin puree. (Apparently no nutmeg, sugar or whip cream allowed.)

In theory, I guess, dogs aren’t fat in the wild. So secretly I know that the pumpkin diet is to train me not to give them so much food. I get it. Barney likes pumpkin. Pippi does not. It doesn’t matter how long they were on the diet, she still had to check Barney’s bowl just on the off-chance that he got something better than pumpkin, like maybe broccoli. She likes broccoli.

▲Pippi Lumpkin

Barney aka Bubble Butt, Buddy

Well, apparently, pumpkin contains a lot of natural sugar. While the dogs are trim, svelt and healthy, their teeth are rotting out and they have terrible breath! Last spring, Barney had to have 10 teeth removed. (How many did he start with anyway?)

▲Barney

Cheeky Monkey aka “Creaky Monkey”

Thanks to the nine month holiday at my parents’ place in 2004, Cheeky now only eats cheap cat chow and wet salmon flavoured Friskies. I did ask my vet what might have happened that he would change his diet like that and she simply told me, “Your parents spoiled him.”

Cheeky seems to have no trouble finding the hottest places to sleep…such as at the foot of the bed vacated by the dogs who are now sleeping under the covers, right in front of the forced air duct, or against the heater element in my sauna — while it’s turned on. He even asks to have a sauna by himself — without me. Is that weird? He is living in Kelowna with my parents now while I settle into my new home. Much to Cheeky’s delight, they are babysitting the sauna, too.

▲Cheeky Monkey

Popcorn aka Pops, Lazy-Worthless-Good-for-Nuthin’

Popcorn is a Papillon crossed with a Border Collie mix from the Blackfoot Indian Reservation — in other words, he’s a purebred Metis dog! Right now he is the most loyal, obedient, non-dominant, well-behaved dog I have ever met. Other than jumping up and down like popcorn, shedding and needing a bath, I’ll have to see if he does anything naughty for the next XMas newsletter.

▲Popcorn