Milestones: Year 2

Toddlers are supposed to reach milestones such as “can say 6 words,” “feeds doll,” “helps in house,” “dumps raisins” and “walks backwards”??? I’ve still decided these developments are weird and I’m keeping track of my own developmental milestones for William:
• Bangs head of doll against table.
• Removes clean folded laundry from basket and “re-sorts” on the floor.
• Raisins appear “as is” in diaper.
• Closes penis in book all by himself.
• Drags own cat by tail.
• Steals Great-Great Aunt’s earring, found hours later under his onesie.
• Plays with Papa’s hair with his toes.
• Runs and falls down on his back with a pair of scissors in each hand.
• Reformats Papa’s hard drive.
• Signs Papa’s serious “Letter to the Editor” with xoxoxoxo.
• While sitting next to Papa, makes 16 separate cell phone calls undiscovered.
• Single-handedly fights a pillow and splits the wins 50:50.

▲Survives 10,000 kisses a day from Papa.

▲Finds own bathtub toy.

▲Catches first miserable cold.

▲ Agrees to finally wear shoes.

▲ Completes a two-hour walk with craisins stuck to his bum.

▲Has first car accident.