Parenting Breaks...

My girlfriend was discussing with her husband what constituted a real break from her day as a stay at home parent and his “breaks” running a small business. I laughed so hard at her two examples that I had to come up with my own list. (Credit the first two to my friend!) I’ve borrowed Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck if...” framework. Royalty check is in the mail.

You’ve had a parenting break today if:

• You ate any meal with two hands.
• You went on the internet for any reason.
• You got only yourself ready to go out of the house.
• The phone rang, it wasn’t a telemarketer, it was for you, and you spoke for five minutes, uninterrupted.
• You got to drive in a car by yourself for at least 15 minutes.
• You got at least one trip to the bathroom...by yourself.
• You managed to drink one cup of coffee...hot.
• You got to talk to at least two other adults in person.
• You watched at least one TV showed rated PG or above before falling asleep.
• You prepared any food without one or more children attached to your leg.
• You’ve bathed...by yourself.
• The smell of hot buttered theater popcorn does NOT still remind you of diapers, AND you got the opportunity to eat some at least once this year.

▲Joe, William, Denise and Sam. Parenting: really, it’s always a joy.

 In his defense, Joe added these few for me from the working parent perspective:

You’ve had a parenting break today if:

• You ever stayed in your pajamas all day.
• You had a CFL football game or NHL hockey game on in the background, instead of the preschool channel.
• You managed to do even half a crossword puzzle while nursing.
• You’ve found time to put together a holiday newsletter.