Why Labour is NOT Like the Flu

• I don’t think I’ve ever thrown up 15 times in one hour.
• The stomach prefers to move food in the opposite direction, so it is a much less powerful muscle.
• The uterus, on the other hand, has been waiting a lifetime for its BIG MOMENT and it’s really good at it.
• You get to experience the uterus’s big moment. (There’s no escaping into a fever or drunkenness) In labour, I remember saying to myself, “HOLY COW! I can’t believe my body just did that. Amazing” Except I don’t think I said holy cow.
• You make WAY cooler noises when in labour. And I thought dragon boat race grunting was primordial.